May 2013
first day of kindergarten
icanbarelyspeak:
not-thefunniestblog:
if kate middleton doesn’t present the baby to the world from her balcony the same way rafiki presented simba they are doing it wrong
when Michael Jackson did that people got really mad
A special message for my followers.
crueland-unusual:
ducksmith:
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...
avatardsherlockian:
killjoysandcastiel:
colesun:
sheetofsound:
ghoulishghosty:
also today some kid mentioned the red hot chili peppers and i was like “oh i love that band” and they were like “oh yeah name five songs by them” and i listed five of my favourites and he hesitated and then said “maybe you do like them”
Why is it on a pieCE OF CHEESE
Why do you make your senteNCES...
togamivevo:
in third grade this kid got in trouble for saying “be free my niggas” when we released the butterflies
April 2013
zoom-de-yada:
lundsdotter:
The strongest ‘pound for pound’ muscle is the uterus: it weighs around 2 pounds but during childbirth can exert a downward force of 400 Newtons, which is one hundred times as strong as gravity and equivalent to the power in a fully extended modern longbow.
#if only i could punch people with my uterus
queefito:
how to win a fight:
cry until they go away
1-enoch:
last night i was absentmindedly toying with something on the kitchen counter while i was on the computer and when i looked down i realized it was a cockroach. i was petting it. i was petting a cockroach and the cockroach was sitting there probably really enjoying it. we had a moment. you know that thing of when two straight guys accidentally do something gay and then they freak out when...
chloemorets:
i was telling a joke i made up the other day
what alcoholic beverage do gay males drink
penis coladas
and i started laughing to myself but my friend just looked me dead in the eyes and said cocktails
artsysauce:
sorry I can’t go to school tomorrow I fractured my motivation
