first day of kindergarten
icanbarelyspeak: not-thefunniestblog: if kate middleton doesn’t present the baby to the world from her balcony the same way rafiki presented simba they are doing it wrong when Michael Jackson did that people got really mad
A special message for my followers.
crueland-unusual: ducksmith: 999999996699666699669999999999699999999996699999999 996666996699666699666666996666666669966666996666666 996669966699666699666666996666666669966666996666666 996699666699666699666666996666666669966666999999999 996666996699666699666666996666666669966666666666699 996666699699666699666666996666666669966666666666699 999999996699999999666666996666666669966666999999999 ...
avatardsherlockian: killjoysandcastiel: colesun: sheetofsound: ghoulishghosty: also today some kid mentioned the red hot chili peppers and i was like “oh i love that band” and they were like “oh yeah name five songs by them” and i listed five of my favourites and he hesitated and then said “maybe you do like them” Why is it on a pieCE OF CHEESE Why do you make your senteNCES...
togamivevo: in third grade this kid got in trouble for saying “be free my niggas” when we released the butterflies
zoom-de-yada: lundsdotter: The strongest ‘pound for pound’ muscle is the uterus: it weighs around 2 pounds but during childbirth can exert a downward force of 400 Newtons, which is one hundred times as strong as gravity and equivalent to the power in a fully extended modern longbow. #if only i could punch people with my uterus
queefito: how to win a fight: cry until they go away
1-enoch: last night i was absentmindedly toying with something on the kitchen counter while i was on the computer and when i looked down i realized it was a cockroach. i was petting it. i was petting a cockroach and the cockroach was sitting there probably really enjoying it. we had a moment. you know that thing of when two straight guys accidentally do something gay and then they freak out when...
chloemorets: i was telling a joke i made up the other day what alcoholic beverage do gay males drink penis coladas and i started laughing to myself but my friend just looked me dead in the eyes and said cocktails
artsysauce: sorry I can’t go to school tomorrow I fractured my motivation